Theme Weeks R Us

American Standards Week. WHY??? Didn't we just have this theme? Oh, I'm sorry ... that was 50s Week. The difference is crystal clear. (*rolls eyes*)

Each season, we are treated to themes that pander to a musical icon trying desperately to give his career a shot in the arm. This season, we've seen Barry Manilow schilling The Greatest Songs of The 50s, Kenny Rogers schilling his plastic surgeon and, this week, Rod Stewart trying to drum up excitement for the newest installment of The Great American Songbook.

While I understand that American Idol is a business whose ultimate purpose is to make money, does everything have to be a commercial? The kids singing in this competition have no chance of survival if they keep getting pigeonholed into these tiny musical niches. They can still have folks like Barry Manilow on to consult and coach and even perform songs from their new albums, but make the themes a little broader, hmm?

In the past, they've done, 70s Weeks, 80s Weeks, "Songs From Movies", "Songs From the Year You Were Born" and lots of other themes that allowed the contestants a little more latitude in choosing a song to perform. They also gave them the chance to rise to the occasion.

In that spirit, here are some theme weeks that I would like to see:

1. 80s Week
2. Satanic Metal Week
3. Irish Drinking Songs Week
4. The Complete Works of Dr. Seuss Put to Music Week
5. Songs That Don't Suck Week
6. College Fight Songs Including the Word "Vim" Week
7. Gregorian Chant Week
8. Motown Week
9. Songs That Suggest Extreme Confidence In Mediocre Talent, and Not Merely Confidence But Almost Even A Suggestion That The Singer Feels That They Deserve Enormous Accolades As a God-Given Right Without Particular Effort Or Struggle And Certainly Without Actually Creating Something Themselves Week
10. Disco Week!