Can You Smell The Falsetto In The Air?

(*DEEP BREATH IN*)

Can you smell it?

(*AAHHHHH*)

Yes, campers, that's the sweet scent of American Idol Day! I love the smell of fear and loathing in the morning.

The fear comes from the contestants. As in, "CRAP! If Ace can be in the bottom three, then we are all S-O-freakin-L." The loathing part comes from us, the American Idol faithful. As in, "What in the name of everlasting cripes is KevCo still doing on this show??"

As is my practice on Tuesday mornings, I have consulted the Idol tea leaves and have this to say about this evening's fun-fest:

I think ... that this week's theme is lame. (Hello? Current music, anyone?? Anyone?)

I think ... that the presence of Kevin Covais in the Top 11 is a sure sign of the Apocalypse. Should it continue (his presence, I mean), I'm afraid that the end of the world is nigh.

I think ... that the best performances of the night will be given by Taylor (DUH), Elliott and Katharine. It's time for the cream to rise to the top of this musical latte.

I think ... that in honor of the whole 50s thing, Paula will kick it Laverne & Shirley style and wear a giant, script "P" in her cleavage. (With any luck, said "P" will honk like a clown's "A'OOOOGAH!" horn when she disagrees with Simon.)

I think ... Ace's fans will be voting their hineys off tonight to keep the Crowned Prince of MMMMMM around for at least another week.

I think ... someone will sing Unchained Melody and butcher it even more than Patrick Swayze.

I think ... the evening's Worst Performance Award will go to SchmoCo (THAT'S a tough call, huh?)

I think ... Lisa should be prepared to go home tomorrow night (Kevin's fanbase is way more organized and driven -- by what, I have NO idea) unless she gives the ass-kickinest performance of her life. [NOTE: I'm not saying this is what SHOULD happen, people. It's just the harsh reality of it all.]

I think ... that Bucky will give the most surprisingly good performance of the night. If he actually SINGS, he could do a really good job. YES, I'm serious!

I think ... it's a virtual LOCK that we'll hear the following songs tonight: Unchained Melody (wish for Mandisa), Jailhouse Rock (wish for Bucky) and Johhny B. Goode (wish for Paris).

I think ... that we're going to see some really frightening performances tonight. It's not my wish, people, just my fear.

Can you smell it?