Goodbye, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Adieu

(*cue Handel's Hallelujah Chorus*)

Ohhh, America. I am so proud! (*sniff*)

Rarely I have been so pleased to be wrong. I have served myself an extra-large slice of Humble Pie on which I can chow down as I blog rhapsodic. Before we get to the Main Event, however, I feel that there are several items which deserve some attention.

Let's get to it.

I must say that I was rather dismayed to see The Divine Ms. M's prediction about Ryan's über-skinny tie come true. At least it wasn't made of leather or plastered with a piano keyboard.
Perhaps it's just me, but I consider such neckwear an example of very poor fashion judgment. Maybe next week he'll break out his Vans and o-ring bracelets.

I thought Big Barry's performance of Love Is A Many Splendored Thing was quite nice, though I must admit I had to close my eyes and just listen to him. It is this writer's opinion that he's a performer who's better heard and not seen. Did anyone else notice that he seemed AWFULLY jittery last night? Perhaps he'd had one too many Frappuccinos or something. Maybe he was just really excited to be near Ryan.

Also, I thought that the Ford commercial last night was better by leaps and bounds than last week's. I loved the video effect; it reminded me of a Missy Elliott or Busta Rhymes video, but for the obvious distinctions. Definitely nowhere near the cheese factor of the camping commercial. Two thumbs up. Fine family fun.

I thought it was really funny that Randy and Paula both wore red shirts. It was like they were trying to form a new club whose slogan is "NO SIMONS ALLOWED!" Do you think he felt left out?

Also, I’m not sure if it actually happened (because the camera never panned back to her), but I think we might’ve seen Paula’s first real tears of the season. And I must say that she managed to give lucid, coherent remarks to Bucky and Kevin as they stood on the AI chopping block. But did she really lump those two in with the likes of Bo Bice, Jennifer Hudson and Clay Aiken? PUH-LEASE!

Now to the nitty gritty.

I thought that the weeding out of the Bottom Three was fairly humane last night. Boom, boom, boom … and there they were. Maybe they wanted Kevin to get maximum face time, but Ryan didn’t seem to drag out the process nearly as much as he usually does. I must admit that I was well and truly floored by Kevin’s presence in the group. Those of you who read my recap the other night know that I don’t think that Kevin gave the worst performance of Tuesday night. I think that honor belongs to Lisa Tucker. I was sure that The Kid’s fan base would have succeeded in what I am sure was an all-out voting blitz.

I had forgotten about another interesting phenomenon of the John Stevens effect. From Season 3, he was the last contestant who elicited such harsh criticism for even being in the competition at all, but he was adored by the same legions of fans who’re supporting Kevin now. Week after week, he’d give painfully bad performances and Simon would rip him to shreds. Voters rallied to “defend” him and he got voted through again and again, watching in agony as more qualified singers left before him. Then, one week when the stars were blissfully well aligned, he and Simon seemed to come to an understanding. He gave a decent performance, Simon gave him nothing but respectful commentary and, lo and behold, John Stevens was the contestant going home on Results Night.

That may just have been what happened this week with Kevin Covais. He was low-key and likeable and he cast aside the cocky swagger that had started to work everyone’s last nerve. Simon wasn’t caustic at all. In fact, his comments to Kevin were downright friendly. This gave dear KevCo the chance to leave on an upswing and his fans graciously relented.

America, you might’ve waited too long, but I do think that Kevin’s exit was the right thing overall. Give yourselves a round of applause.

Now, go get some of that chicken that we’ve all been hankering for!