She's Got Electric ... WHAT?

Ciao, fellow Idolaters! I have nothing real to add to the furious debate over Chris Daughtry's "Crimes Against Idol", nor do I have much of an opinion on the songs the contestants should sing this week (I've been an XM Radio listenener for a few years now and am shamefully ignorant of the music of the "Hot 100").

What I DO have is a book that is both a hoot AND a holler. The book is called When A Man Loves A Walnut ... and More Misheard Lyrics. There are a couple of other books in this series: Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy and He's Got The Whole World In His Pants; if you've missed any of them, please rush out in a buying frenzy. You won't be disappointed.

The books are compilations of misheard lyrics, or "mondegreens" that are hilarity of the highest order. Based on some of the performances during Hollyweird Week, there might be some more songs destined for inclusions in later editions.

Here are some of my faves:

Santana, Oye Como Va
Misheard: "See the comb I bought"
Correct: "Oye Como Va"

Steely Dan, Reelin In The Years
Misheard: "Are you really in the yeast? Stowin' away the tiles? Are you gatherin up the teats? Have you had enough of mine?"
Correct: "Are you reelin' in the years? Stowin' away the time? Are you gatherin' up the tears? Have you had enough of mine?"

Foreigner, Double Vision
Misheard: "My mind is bacon, but my body's Sizzlean"
Correct: "My mind is racin', but my body's in the lead"

George Michael, Father Figure
Misheard: "To be bowling naked at your side"
Correct: "To be bold and naked at your side"

R.E.M., Man on the Moon
Misheard: "Edith was troubled by a horrible ass."
Correct: "Egypt was troubled by the horrible asp."

Olivia Newton-John & John Travolta, You're the One That I Want
Misheard: "You better shape up before you pee the bed."
Correct: "You better shape up 'cause I need a man."

... and one to make America proud:

The Star Spangled Banner
Misheard: "Who brought stripes and fried stars through the barrel of Sprite?"
Correct: "Whose broad stripes and broad stars through the perilous fight."

Is there a song whose lyrics you perpetually butchered before you were able to say, "OHHH! That's what they were saying!" C'mon ... you're among friends and snarkers here.

The one I always heard wrong was from Elton John's Bennie & The Jets. I always heard: "She's got electric boobs and no hair, too" when the real lyrics are "she's got electric boots, a mohair suit" ... I can't imagine why I missed that one!